What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
09.06.2025 01:32
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Watch an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier make a close pass of Earth on June 5 - Space
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Magnetic fields appear to be as old as the universe itself. What created them? - Space
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
We were not on the streets..
I waited trembling.
7 storylines to watch with All-Star voting underway - MLB.com
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I don,t even have a pension.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt’s Daughter Shiloh Reintroduces Herself With New Name - HuffPost
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I never cut or harmed myself..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Reality TV star’s son dead at 16: ‘Life is so cruel and unfair’ - AL.com
I was very sick at this time too.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Is OnlyFans good or bad for the society? Why?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Comes on , in middle age.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But, we were locked up after school.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
(And it was in our own minds.)
This is soul school!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I think the readers, may guess!
Im still living with it.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Why did i forgive my father ?
As i do to all so called friends.?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Would this be the day?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And i lived it daily.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
When she asked me how she looked .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Ive learnt so much.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
She found it foreign!.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Who then, do I blame.?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He knew the spot.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
My family never makes their pension either.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
One cannot live in the past .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I could never make a relationship work though!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I couldn’t, believe it.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He resisted the act ,that day.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I have no regrets .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She wouldn,t have been !
I was scared of men, in general
Im dying but, im not bitter.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was 9 years of age.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I write beautiful poetry .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So whats the point in blame.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She married twice! .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I will be 64.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We all went to grammer schools
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I was seconnd youngest,
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My life is so biszare .
Put me off passion for life!!
So, i spoilt her more .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I said to her
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
It was going to be , some day.
All the time i was locked up.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She was in good health!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But ive been too sick for many years..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But it wasn’t much.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She loved him until the end.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
What did i know ?